Two models became psychotherapists: Vivian Diller, PhD and Jill Muir-Sukenick, PhD (edited by Michele Willens). Their journey and unique perspectives created this book – a six-step program for all women undertaking that voyage into territory that redefines them as women – aging, accepting, and maturing (yes, there is a difference).
Aging: Looking as Good as You Feel
Face it: What Women Really Feel as Their Looks Change is not a book detailing what to do, and what not to do. It is a book that helps one to explore the myths and realization of self-worth as tied to beauty and aging. In their own words, the authors hope that "the phrase 'looking as good as you feel' goes from being a pleasant cliché to a genuine way of life" (p. xiii).
The book is divided into three main sections: Setting the Stage for Change, Six Steps to Change, and Face a Changing Face. The first section has two chapters, and explores how aging became a negative aspect within a woman's life. The last section also has two chapters: the first one in this section is about actual cases – women who faced aging, their backgrounds, and how they handled the six-step program; the second one is a summary of the six-step program, and how to approach each step.
Face It Uses the Six Step Program to Help Women with Aging Problems
Obviously, it's the middle section that holds the most promise, just like an Oreo cookie. It is here that each step gets its own chapter. Each step is explained, with examples as well as a final summary of how to accomplish that step at the end of the chapter. The six steps are Uh-Oh Moments (mistakenly first read as "aha moments" – guess it depends on perspective, but it turns out the reader is supposed to turn those uh-oh's into ah-ha's), Masks, Internal Dialogues, What Do Moms Have to Do with It?, Adolescence in Residence, and Say Goodbye to Say Hello. Note that each section has many real life examples from patients, and how the authors/psychotherapists helped each to find their own way of acceptance and celebration.
Unfortunately, too much is made of the usual "mom" syndrome – that women are a product of what their moms put them through. It is disappointing to note their "bad" examples focus on the mom, whereas the "good" examples focus on the family. It really should be stressed that it is the family in both situations – that the self image is not just a product of the mother, but of the unit of the family, and the interactions of that family.
Bottom Line: Validation for Women Growing Older
Face it: What Women Really Feel as Their Looks Change will help those women who need validation of what they are feeling as they age. However, appendix b is the real jewel of the book, with practical tips and reaffirmations for women at any age.
Book courtesy of FSB Associates.
Reference:
Diller, Vivian. Face it: What Women Really Feel as Their Looks Change. New York, NY USA: Hay House Inc., 2010.
Paym Bergson - Paym Bergson - freelance entrepreneur & career coach with extensive experience working in the educational/professional development ...
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